Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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  (515): Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms (712): Oh God (515): I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship http://tfl.nu/mj00
  Replies (31) Good night (1082) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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  (248): her lazy eye was starring daggers at me. http://tfl.nu/0qd5
  Replies (17) Good night (587) Bad night (3173) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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  (708): blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes http://tfl.nu/vynn
  Replies (24) Good night (7956) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7461) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.

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  (425): Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack. http://tfl.nu/ptag
  Replies (32) Good night (1207) Bad night (8626)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3725) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high

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  (607): Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high http://tfl.nu/24mk
  Replies (11) Good night (4841) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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  (845): Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye. http://tfl.nu/5hfu
  Replies (20) Good night (1326) Bad night (2728) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.

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  (515): your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head. http://tfl.nu/jev3
  Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (1479)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me

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  (732): I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me http://tfl.nu/pe15
  Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (1818) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"

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  (651): I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift" http://tfl.nu/0adm
  Replies (8) Good night (2907) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2524) Bad night (430)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (273)
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  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

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  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.

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  (412): Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time. http://tfl.nu/jc31
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (71) Order T-Shirt

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