This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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