I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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