whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
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The air was thick with penises
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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