saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize