What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize