there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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