i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize