thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
honey bunches of taint.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize