i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize