Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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