alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize