she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
whose parrot is this?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize