woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize