All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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