Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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