i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize