Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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