can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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