Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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