His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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