I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so let's talk penis.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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