My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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