We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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