So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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