she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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