you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
And then he peed in my hair
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