remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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