I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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