I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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