Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

How was your Memorial Day?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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(717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou

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(913): View more from Kansas

is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

(312): View more from Illinois

you sound like my dream girl

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(913): is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us? (312): you sound like my dream girl http://tfl.nu/joww

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(347): View more from New York

Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude

(650): View more from California

So your saying just a blow job?

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(347): Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude (650): So your saying just a blow job? http://tfl.nu/cev0

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(512): View more from Texas

in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

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(512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj

Replies (35) Good night (1254) Bad night (7642) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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(865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2

Replies (10) Good night (623) Bad night (3035) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

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(210): He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax. http://tfl.nu/uaku

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(530): View more from California

The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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(530): The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me. http://tfl.nu/yiwo

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.

(1-205): View more from Alabama

Is it working?

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(205): I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless. (1-205): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/ozk1

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(206): View more from Washington

She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?

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(206): She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level? http://tfl.nu/kfzw

Replies (4) Good night (1674) Bad night (633)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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(705): Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/v5hf

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(515): View more from Iowa

You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.

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(515): You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it. http://tfl.nu/irby

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(310): View more from California

Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.

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(310): Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show. http://tfl.nu/bzbb

Replies (3) Good night (1165) Bad night (714)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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(+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao

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(281): View more from Texas

I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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(281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b

Replies (4) Good night (528) Bad night (341)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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(919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma

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