I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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