took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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