Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize