Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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