I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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