There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize