I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize