he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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