I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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