I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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