My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I AM VODKA MAN
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I FOUND THE LEGS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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