That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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