I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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