forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm at about main and main street
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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