I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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