he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize