Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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