I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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