Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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